Are You Listening?

I wonder if groundhogs have good ears? Anyone know? Anyway, I listen to stuff all the time--music, my friends, my family, my teachers, me, myself, and I. Even when I'm being "quiet", there's almost always some noise going on somewhere. We live in a go-go world, and I don't mean the dancers from 50 years ago (haha, bad joke). I mean, come on, I'm listening to music, thinking about homework, and blogging all at the same time. I'm either a superhuman or I'm not doing any of the three as well as I should, because it may be a secret to most people today, but MULTITASKING IS IMPOSSIBLE. The brain can't do it, dude. It just can't. Just move on. Life.

Okay, what's the problem then? We're just an overambitious population. That's okay, right? Yeah, that's okay, but there's a bit of an issue here. I listen to others and myself all the time to get info and answers, but do I listen to God as much as everyone on earth? NOPE. Even if I read my Bible everyday and pray and go to church and whatever, do I ever really LISTEN? Or do I just go through the motions?

We all know I'm just going through the motions.

And that's really human. It's not good, but it's human. And you do it too. And then I feel drained because I'm spending time with God, but I'm not really paying attention to God. So, I have a challenge for you guys this week. I know, I know, challenges aren't my cup of tea either, but bear with me here.

LISTEN TO GOD THIS WEEK.

Hopefully, it will feel so awesome and amazing that you'll wanna keep it up longer. Think about it. This is the Living God talking to you. It's pretty crazy. Maybe He'll ask you to follow Him. Maybe He'll tell you that you're his child. Maybe He'll tell you He loves you. Maybe He just told me this.

That's really insane, don't you think? You should try it.

"My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand."-John 10:27-28 (TNIV)

P.S. Jesus is talking here, and you're the sheep if you follow Jesus. Yeah, that is really nice to know.

What Are You Working For?

Yesterday wasn't the best day of my life. It was actually quite painful. And it really shouldn't have been that painful. It was just a mistake, and that's life.

But it doesn't feel like that.

It feels like I've failed. It feels like I've failed even after trying hard enough--even after trying more than hard enough. It's like there was a competition to throw something the farthest, and I had it all set up just right. Everything was accounted for--the angle, gravity, air resistance, etc. There was only one problem. The ceiling was too low. I had forgotten something so obvious. And that stings.

Now imagine that throwing situation blown up to something that has to do with your identity. Something that should've worked just because you're you. And that stings so much more.

You could say I felt distraught. You could say I shouldn't of felt that way. You'd be right. In a way, I almost felt that I had sinned although I obviously hadn't. It shouldn't even have mattered much. I knew that in my head, but my heart felt like God would be sad that I was so stupid. That I didn't perform well enough, and that I would never succeed. I had no reason to feel like this, but I did.

And I kept battling with this until I read something very special. I read that my relationship with God "isn't a performance-based relationship" and that "the pressure's off. God loves to watch me play. That is all" (Six Words You Should Hear Today by Rachel Held Evans). I always know it in my heart, but I don't always feel it like we all should. I had based my self worth, the love and value I should feel from God, on the "love" and "value" that comes from success. I was working for the love and value Jesus had already worked for. I had basically told God that it was cool that He could give me value and love beyond comprehension, but that I was gonna earn it myself anyway.

And that's totally not gonna happen.

You're not exactly God, and you can't give yourself all that you need. Despite common belief, we're actually not all that independent, and we're not really worth that independence. But here's the thing: God makes us worth so much more. We'll all still fail in so many ways, but by the blood of Jesus, God doesn't have to see those failures anymore. From the failures that are little mistakes to the heartbreaking sins we all commit, God sees past them. If we accept His love and agree to be His children, He sees us as His children that He will love unconditionally. Forever. No backsies. He loves you. He loves to watch you play and live a life full of His love.

Doesn't that just make your day?

P.S. This doesn't mean that you should stop working for God, but that you should stop trying to work to receive the love and value He has already given you. You should still live for God, but instead of doing it to gain love, you should do it because you've already gained that love. Then, the pressures off. You are loved.

Do You Follow Your Heart?

You know that thing in your chest that beats hard at the most inconvenient, nerve-wracking moments? The thing that pumps blood through your body? The thing that enables us to feel emotions? I think we know what I'm talking about. Speaking of talking (haha, see what I did there?),  does your heart talk to you? I know the world says it does. You know what the world also says? Yeah, you do. It tells you to listen to your heart.  There are probably a hundred songs out there with "listen to your heart" as a title or at least a line in the song. It's really popular to listen to your heart.

What has your heart told you before?

My heart has told me some pretty intense stuff. Especially at 1 A.M. The later I stay up, the worse it gets. It tells me to do what's best. For me. It tells me to hurt. A lot. It tells me that everything right is wrong. It tells me that doubt is better than faith--even in things I can see. It tells me to embrace apathy, because the emotions it's feelings are anything but happy. Lastly, it tells me the world is against me, and I can only live for myself. Because I'm the only one I should see.

And that's very stressful.

Being obsessed with yourself is a whole lot of work. When everyone else is wrong, there's a lot of pressure for you to be right. And when your heart's in control, what's right changes everyday. Every single day. It's really confusing.

So, what do we do? I have a solution, but it's very difficult to take in, and you may not like it.

Stop listening to your heart.

There. I said it. Here you go. That's the honest truth. I guess it's pretty simple, but sometimes the simplest things are the hardest to take in.

Lately, my emotions have been on a little joy ride, and there are a lot of bumps on the road. There are times when I'm joyful and thankful; there are times when I hate myself and forget how a great God could ever love ME. There are times when I think I'm too cool for life; there are times when I think I don't deserve life. There are times when I really feel God; there are times when I feel like He shouldn't exist. Even when my logic and my experiences say He does. Sometimes the facts all line up, but my heart just isn't in it. I may believe in my heart that Jesus died for me, but sometimes I just don't feel it.

That's why you shouldn't follow your heart. Honestly, your heart doesn't even know where it's going.

So, this probably isn't lovely to hear, but I'd be dishonest if I weren't to tell you the truth. The truth is that your feelings don't change the truth. I'm not saying that your heart is always bad, dangerous, and misleading. I'm saying that when you heart is overwhelmed, you can't trust it totally. When your heart is pure, trust it; when your heart is defiled, don't trust it. Most of the time, it's probably defiled. Don't trust it.

There's still a problem with this. Don't most things have to do with the heart? I mean, you can't rely on your brain for everything. Especially love and other emotions. How do we deal with those? There's gotta be a middle ground.

Of course, the middle ground, the perfect balance, comes with God. How does God give you the strength to use your heart and these emotions in the right way--the way that doesn't mislead and hurt? Through the Holy Spirit and Jesus, of course. God gives us the Spirit so that we may believe in Christ and He may live in our hearts. That's when we know true love. The love that gives up its life to save ours. The love that is in Jesus' sacrifice. And all we have to do is believe and surrender. It's not always easy, but we've got God on our side. Isn't that wonderful?

"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."-Ephesians 3:16-19

Who Are These Jerks?

This is really scary for me, but kids everywhere have asked this angry question. But here's the thing. It's not about bullies or about criminals; it's not about meanies or about rude people. It's about their parents. Because for whatever reason, their parents have been unfair and unjust and have become major jerks. Like, seriously. These kids don't know why their parents do what they do. Maybe the parents aren't top notch or the kids have too much pride. I don't know what, but there's something wrong here. There's something dysfunctional happening, and it's not good. I feel so bad for these kids who have such terrible relationships with their parents. Either the parents or the kid or both are really blind in this situation--blind to the circumstance, to the heart, or to the reason. And it's really sad. We've come to a place where "I told you so" is taken way too far and starting to mean there's no understanding.

And maybe you can't help it. Maybe the other person in this relationship is irresponsive. What are you gonna do? This is crucial. Maybe you can survive with a difficult earthly parent, but what if that parent isn't exactly from earth? What if this means more than even an extremely crucial earthly relationship?

What if this is with your Heavenly Father?

What if you can't talk to God without feeling intense anger? What if when you think of God, you ask,"who is this jerk" and "why is He so unfair"? Why is the God of justice and mercy so unjust and unmerciful?

Well, that's no good.

Assume you are a Christian, and God is the giver of your eternal life. And you're forgetting what God has really done for you. He has let badness enter the world by our free will. We chose to be sinful, and we were born into sin. But why? So that when we choose to not sin, we choose God. We choose to love Him--and isn't love by choice the only true love? That's all God wants. That's why Jesus came to die for our sins--so that we could choose God, and God could wash away our sins with Jesus' blood. And true love could be real.

Before you keep calling God a jerk for the bad stuff in the world that He let us choose, remember that true love wouldn't exist without the ability to choose. And reconciliation couldn't work without Jesus. So, it may take us eating our pride at times, but we've still got to remember what Jesus has done for us  and what He calls us to do.

"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love."-John 15:9

Are You Afraid of Hurting Others?

So, you know that animal instinct? I mean, the thing that makes it natural for animals to prey on other animals. Or, maybe do things like steal another's food so they can survive? I know groundhogs do. I know because our groundhog likes to eat our veggies, and she doesn't ask me if it's okay first. It is completely insensitive. But most people don't think of it that way, do they? They just say she's an animal and that's what she does. However, what if it were a person who snuck into my yard and nibbled on my veggies? That would be trespassing and stealing. This person would be a criminal.

And that's what makes us different from all those animals.

Yes, I am writing about one of the differences between humans and animals.

Yes, I am writing this late at night.

Anyway, whenever I'm with other people, I think to myself, "Are they taking what I'm saying the wrong way? Am I HURTING my friend?" And I don't know about you, but I don't like the uncertainty. I don't like that their perception can be wrong and it can be my fault. I also don't like it when they don't like what I say and believe. I don't want to care how they feel about it, but the truth is, I do.

And it gets in the way of telling others about the truth--the truth that I know can save their lives. I'm afraid of telling others about Jesus even though God says to only fear Him (and not fear things that He can control). So, yeah, fear is my idol a lot of the times. It gets in the way of obeying God, and it becomes my god. That's not good. But I do it. And I shouldn't do it.

365. That's an estimate of how many times the Bible tells us not to fear. I mean, no, I didn't count it myself so don't take it that seriously. (Plus, what about leap years?) So, my point is that it's said a lot and it means a lot. Not fearing is important not just because it's good for your blood pressure, but  because fearing something means you're not trusting that God can control it. And that He will control it. Fearing God is the absence of fearing anything else. Isn't that amazing?

Now, this obviously doesn't mean Christians don't fear anything but God. But you should be trying. It should always be in the back of you mind when things feel out of hand. God is in control. He is your Sustainer. Even when things don't seem to make sense, He has a purpose. You may never know what His purpose is, but He has one. And you have to put your trust in Him.

Because His love never fails. 

"Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. They say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."-Psalm 91:1-2           

What Habits Do You Hate?

Okay, so we like to think we're perfect angels, but let's move on from that for a bit and talk about the little human things of which we're not too fond. At all. They inspire more of an un-fondness. They basically grate on our nerves like we grate cheese. As much as I like grated cheese, I don't like grated ME. So, let's talk about it. These can be habits you hate in yourself or in others.

I hate when I tell myself that I will finish my schoolwork early. Like, I was gonna be done with most of my homework by now. Friday night. Done. Freedom. But that's not the case. I've done literally nothing. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed that nothing, but I don't enjoy that I enjoyed it. Are you confused? I am too. But school just started two weeks ago and that "s" word confuses everything. C'est la vie.

Oh, and I don't like that once the schoolwork starts to wear me like clothes, the idea of being brain-dead is really attractive. I actually called it dead-brain earlier this week because I am that dead-brain. I mean brain-dead. Whatever. I have the inability to be serious when everything around me is supposed to be serious. Like, seriously. I'm serious. Everything is opposite of the way it should be. Because I like to think. (Well, mostly.)

You know those projects that technically have so much meaning and what not? Yeah, those annoy me. You know what? Sometimes I can think the meaning, but if I can't FEEL it. Well, my body's probably more likely to be feeling sleep. And dead-brain-ness, of course.

Tiredness. When my mind wants to be awake, my body doesn't share this feeling. Bad. Just bad. Lying awake with wide open eyes, thinking, crying out in need of sleep. Bad. Just bad. Don't listen to Nike. DON'T JUST DO IT.

And do you know what feels the worst about all these habits I hate? (Other than the fact that they're not all habits...) I hate that I'm not justified in any of it. And it's not because the things that annoy me shouldn't annoy me. But it's the fact that I let myself get annoyed. I'm victimizing myself. And like I said in my post "Do You Know What Pain Is?", the only thing we are victims of is grace. And love. We deserve death, yet I'm complaining about practically choosing to be brain-dead. Like, really? I should be extinguished, tortured, dead, and so much more, but I'm complaining about free-will. Whoa, Lavender Girl, who are you really?

Well, I'm human. That's who I am, really. And I mess up and take for granted so much every day and every second. Still, the Apostle Paul says we must be content in every situation. But it doesn't always happen, and that's okay. We can't do it alone, and that's okay. Because God doesn't want us to do it alone. Paul says he has learned how to be content in every situation, but not because he's this epic superhuman. It's because of Philippians 4:13:

"I can do all this through him who gives me strength."

And that him is Christ.

This is Paul's conclusion, and it should be ours too. It won't be easy, but look Who we have on our side?

I hope you enjoyed my little rant today. Comment the habits you hate and whatever else you want to say.

P.S. If you're wondering when I'll have more blogs up, it will be on weekends and holidays--the days when all the habits I hate disappear and are replaced by new ones.

Does Purple Sing to Your Soul?

Does violet make your heart dance? Does mauve bring you comfort? Does orchid brighten up your day? Does mulberry make you hungry? Does lavender make you want to read my blog? We all know that last one's true, but of course the others are dependent on opinion.

If you can't tell (for some weird reason), purple is my favorite color. So, I'm here to tell you why it should be your favorite color too.

Have you ever wanted to be a princess? Or a prince? Or just plain royalty? Oh, come on, William and Kate wouldn't be half as popular as they are now if we weren't so entranced with the idea of royalty. Between William receiving his birthright and Kate marrying into his birthright, it's pretty cool. Hollywood today just eats that up. It's a classy, wealthy soap opera waiting to happen. Why not?

But what does this have to do with the color purple?

Purple is the color of royalty.

And royalty means so much more than Will, Kate, and their new baby.

Royalty is an option offered to all of us, young and old, male and female, prince or princess-to-be. We all have this offer to inherit a birthright that we do not deserve. In her song "King of Anything", Sara Bareilles asks "who died and made you king of anything?". Well, I'm here to tell you that someone actually did die to make you a prince or princess. And that someone is Jesus. He shed His blood on the cross and rose again so that we may have eternal life with Him, a birthright that we do not at all deserve. We deserve death, but we are offered life. All you have to do is believe in Jesus and you will be born again into your birthright--true royalty.

That's why purple should be your favorite color.  And that's why purple is my favorite color.

Well, and it's also very pretty, but you know. :)

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

Okay, be honest. Are you? Or maybe when you were little? Maybe you were scared of the shadows that moved across your ceiling or the way your closet door stayed a little bit too open (and the light a little bit too dim). No matter who you are, especially if you're little, you are or were afraid of something related to the dark. It's human. It's normal. I won't go calling the psychiatrist for something like that.

But what do we do if we aren't little kids anymore, but we're still afraid of the dark? When I say the dark, I don't necessarily mean the actual darkness that we see, although that could be the case. I also mean the darkness of the world played out in the sin, the evil, the cruelty, the hate, the lies, the deaths, the enemies, the thieves, our own mindset and flaws and so much more. The list literally goes on forever.

So, what do we do about that? We look to Jesus. Okay, so some of you might be rolling your eyes, because it's such a Sunday school answer, but there's a reason for it. It's because Jesus is our Safety Blanket. Imagine you're five years old again. What kept you safe from the shadows? For me, it was my blankets. I'd pull the sheets up close to my chin, close my eyes, fall asleep, and wake up when the darkness was gone. I also needed my nightlight to be on all the time. Jesus is meant to be our Nightlight too. Obviously, the Nightlight will not illuminate the whole room and rid each corner of darkness, but it gives hope--hope for a future where there is no darkness. Hope for the morning to dawn. Isn't that what Jesus is? Jesus Himself said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life" (John 8:12, TNIV). Doesn't the LIGHT OF LIFE make for a great nightlight? Think about this light that you have on your side. If Jesus is in your life, you cannot be afraid. If He isn't, maybe you should think about inviting Him in. Come on, you can't pass up this Nightlight deal. Just believe and He's yours for free.

If you're afraid of the darkness in the world, take heart, because Jesus is the light of the world. If you're afraid that your nightlight will burn out in the middle of the night, take heart, because Jesus is your forever Nightlight. If you're afraid that evil will win the war, take heart, because the war is already won. And the winner is Jesus.

The light of the world.

The light of your world.