What Do You Do With The Not-So-Happy Endings?

Sometimes things don't turn out the way you want them too. We hear that all the time, don't we? Except there are times when it rings especially true. I would say I've been really feeling this a lot lately. It's everything turning out wrong; it's every hope becoming mangled; it's your dreams being kicked in the gut by reality. Wow, that hurts. And the bruises and aches that it leaves. Honey, this is not honey. This is just really gross, and it's a feeling that we all want to avoid at every cost.

But is hating this feeling really all it's cracked up to be?

Maybe we're looking at it all wrong. I don't mean to say having things take a huge turn for the worst is the bee's knees. I'm not completely sane, but I'm also not completely insane. But let's really look at the times when we feel slapped in the face by things that have happened. Are they pitiable accounts of misery or well-disguised opportunities to bring a bit more light to the world? I'll give you a hint. I'd go for the latter.

Here's an example that I think is pretty awesome. Way back when this thing we call Earth and all that good stuff was made, these two people made a choice that they thought would make their lives all the dandier. They decided to try to know it all, because what could possibly go wrong? But we all know the story, don't we? They tried and were consequently banished from Eden, hurting their relationship with the Creator of the Universe. There were just a lot of other really nasty things that also came from their sin. This wasn't exactly what Adam and Eve wanted to happen. They reached for the stars and got a handful of cow muck. Isn't that lovely?

I bet God wouldn't have thought His creation messing up perfection was lovely either.  I wouldn't say God wanted Adam and Eve to ruin things.

However, God didn't let this get in the way of how much He loved them or any of the others who were and are born into sin. He took this situation and used it to bring light into the world. More specifically, He brought the Light of the World in. He gave us Jesus and showed us that "greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends" (John 15:13). God used sin entering the world as a chance to show us His True Love and give up His Son for us.  All we have to do is believe, and all of our sins are forgiven.  God didn't let the not-so-happy ending of human goodness even be the real ending.

Now that's what we ought to do with the not-so-happy endings of our lives. 

How Do You Go to God?

When I'm weary,
When I'm sad,
When I'm fearful,
When I'm mad,
When I'm hurt,
A lot or a tad,
And of course,
When I'm glad,
I go to God
With good or bad,
and suddenly,
I have more than I had.
-Me

It's lovely to be able to go to the God of the universe and just chat like you would with an old friend. That's a great way to go to God. Anytime, anywhere, with any emotion, God loves it when we go to Him. He wants to chat with us--no matter if it's for 3 seconds or for many hours or even days. He loves when we acknowledge that He exists everywhere and is accessible anywhere and at any time. He loves when we tell Him what's on our hearts.

Do you realize how blessed we are to be able to do this? And to have a God who loves this?

One of the things that makes Christianity so special for me is how deeply, sincerely, purposely, and wonderfully personal it is.  The Creator of everything enjoys just hanging out with creation--having fellowship. It doesn't even mean you're using words.  It just means you're there and God's there and you're just together.  It's so amazing and awe-inspiring, isn't it?

That's what I'm thankful for today. And with this thanksgiving (and on this Thanksgiving day ;) ), this is how I'm going to God. I'm going to God by giving Him thanks for this life, this truth, this love that He has given me personally. I'm thanking Him for being so real and right and loving and sovereign and joyful even when the sin in the world makes Him sad. I'm thanking Him for being so sad that He gave His Only Begotten Son to die on the cross for our sins. I'm thanking Him for all the blessings in my life whether big or little. I'm thanking Him for my big brother playing the piano, my parents making me dinner, my curling iron working just the right way, this special American holiday, the rest of the world waiting for me to explore, the cold that feels just like the coming Winter should, my awesome camera, being able to have a blog, being able to write with all of my heart, my nonnie being alive and well, my break in work, the ability to play, the disappointments that keep me humble, the waiting for a change, loving life, and being saved by the blood of Jesus. I'm even thanking Him for my schoolwork. That's the hardest one. But thanking God makes me grateful, and being grateful makes me see what I have as so much more. It just makes life better.

Are you going to God with thanks today?

Psalm 100

A psalm. For giving thanks.

1 Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.
2     Worship the Lord with gladness;
    come before him with joyful songs.
3 Know that the Lord is God.
    It is he who made us, and we are his;
    we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.
4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving
    and his courts with praise;
    give thanks to him and praise his name.
5 For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;
    his faithfulness continues through all generations.

P.S. Happy Thanksgiving!

Are You A Royal?

Have you ever realized how EVERYONE wants to be a royal? A ruler? On top of the world? Or at least how the world tells us we should wanna be royals? Well, Lorde noticed it. She also noticed that "we'll never be royals. It don't run in our blood." But of course she then begs, "Let me be your ruler; you can call me queen bee. And baby, I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule. Let me live that fantasy."  So, from this song, we come to understand that even though us normal people will never be rulers, we still wanna rule --this is the dream that we're all in love with. We all wanna answer "yes" to the question "are you a royal," but it just isn't gonna happen. Right?

Wrong.

Okay, okay, before you think I'm really crazy, let me tell you about the inheritance you're being offered right now.  Eternity of being a son or daughter of the King of the universe. Paid for by the blood of Jesus. All you do is accept that Jesus died (and resurrected) for you, and you're royalty. For eternity. With the God who loves you so much that He sent His only son to die for you.

In reply to Lorde, we can be royals. It runs in Jesus' blood that He poured out for us.  We can live that fantasy.

I'm a royal.  Are you?

"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are a people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy."

-1 Peter 2:9-10

Why Can't We Be Friends?

We've all had those kinds of friends at one point or the other (or at most points). You know those friends who are nice on the surface and lead you to believe that you are (of course) their friend, their groupie, but then, all of the sudden, they ditch you. They ignore you. They still say you're their "friend," but you know the truth. They leave you singing, "Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends?"

It's very frustrating, isn't it?

And that's how Jesus feels about us sometimes.

Think about it. At some point in his/her life, almost every Christian finds him/herself saying Jesus is his/her friend, but not really acting like it. We all still like the idea of being a Christian, but we lose faith in Jesus, feeling like "how could we need someone we can't even see? Is He even real?"  Then, like the flaky friend, we don't spend time with Jesus anymore or invite Him where we're going. We hate to admit it, but we kinda decided that our friendship was never real.  Our faith--well, we wouldn't say it exists. We're officially doubters, even though there was definitely a point where Jesus revealed Himself to us.  When we doubt after Jesus reveals Himself to us, that's when He gets frustrated. It's not out of anger, but it's out of love. He wants to be our friend because He loves us, yet we aren't feeling it. It leaves Him singing,"Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends?"  Except when Jesus asks this, it's a rhetorical question, because He definitely knows what's happening on our end of the friendship.

Now, this doesn't mean we're just all going to Hell. Some of the best Christians go through this at one point or another. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that every Christian goes through this. Way back 2000 years ago, when the disciples were trying to heal this demon-possessed boy, the father of the boy had to go to Jesus because the disciples just couldn't do it. When Jesus heard that His disciples couldn't do it, He said, "O unbelieving and perverse generation... how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy here" (Matthew 17: 17). He was frustrated. It hurt Him to know that His disciples, who had been seeing Him and talking to Him face to face, didn't have enough faith to heal a boy. But this was also Jesus asking a rhetorical question, because He knew how long He'd be on earth with them and He knew that their faith wouldn't always be up to par. He still loved them despite this. Actually, I think one of the main reasons He's saying this is to show that we need Him more than He needs us.

It's to show that sometimes we will be those flaky friends of fake faith, but we still need Him and should go to Him in those times.

The disciples could SEE Jesus with their own two eyes, yet they still had issues with faith and trusting in the reality of their friendship with Jesus. So, they needed to rely on Jesus to heal the boy--to do the job they were called to do. The job they could do if they had enough faith (see Matthew 17:20).  Even if we're horrible friends of Jesus, He wants us to go to Him, and like He did for the disciples, He'll pick up the slack. He'll do what we were meant to do. He might get frustrated that we can't love Him so much that our faith just comes naturally, but His love will still be constant.

He still wants to be your friend.

He wants to be your friend forever.

[Cue "Why Can't We Be Friends?" here]

How's your friendship with Jesus going?

Do You Want That Perfect Life?

"I want that friend. I want that dress. I want that appearance. I want that grade. I want that position. I want that acceptance. I want that happiness. I want that fulfillment. I want that life. That perfect, perfect life.

"But I don't have that.

"God, why don't I have that? Don't You love me? Don't You want me to have joy?  Isn't that one of the fruits of the Spirit?  It's what we get as Christians, right?"

Silence.

"I'm very unhappy, God. Where are You? I thought You were real. Get over here, Lord. What are You doing? I want Your joy."

"Follow me."

"Well, I know that, God.  I am a Christian. That's kinda what the word implies.  I'm already doing that.  But I'm just really antsy trying to get that life You wanna give me."

"Follow me."

"Ok, this isn't funny.  I am following You.  But I need to feel filled up, You know? Of course You know.  Why are You playing coy?"

"Follow me."

"Lord, I think we're getting disconnected because You just said the same thing three times after I told You that that's not what I need.  I've already got that.  But I need You to make me a little more perfect. Oh, and You know that prestigious title that that girl has?  I think I'd be a better Christian with it.  And please hear me and stop trying to tell me to follow You when I already am.  I'm really just asking for that good life, You know."

Silence.

Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?"
Matthew 16:24-26

Do You Feel Like You Belong?

It's an age-old question that haunts us all daily. No matter who you are, you've experienced the feeling. The feeling of wanting to fit in. Of wanting to be in the in crowd. Of wanting to be cool. Of wanted to be wanted. Of wanting to be loved.

It's a painful experience, isn't it?

Now, sometimes you don't even like the cool kids, but you want to be accepted by them. Maybe it's because they're monsters who might eat you if you don't get on their good side. Maybe you want to be a monster yourself. It's always easier being the predator than being the prey. Whatever the case, these monsters have been made important (probably by their own exclusive behaviors...) and you want to feel important too.

But why does it take monsters to make you feel important? Isn't there a better way to go about the desire to feel and be important?

Most kids will say there isn't.  It always involves being liked by a monster or being a monster, eh?

NO.

Just no, guys.  It's not true.  Actually, it's the worst way to feel important, because there's a 99% chance that you won't really feel important. You'll just feel used. You'll just feel empty. Drained. Like an orange that was juiced, you feel useless now.

But they're lying to you. You are not useless. You are not like that orange with no purpose. No matter what they tell you, you're more than that. No matter how they act to you, you're more than that. You are a beloved child. You are a purposeful creation. You have intrinsic value that the world has underestimated. You have been loved with an eternal love. You have been created in the image of the Creator. And He loves you so very much.

Imagine you're a new baby with your parents. These aren't just any parents.  They've wanted you. They've desired you. They've created you with the intention of loving you. Of being with you, of guiding you, of holding you, and of leading you in the path made just for you. They never want to leave you, but as you grow up, they let you leave them. You choose to go, and you're gone. But they still love you.

And that's how it is with God. He made you because He desires to love you and lead you and to never let you go. He desires to call you His child. But you left. We all left. None of us live up to the title of God's Beloved Child. So, Jesus died and rose again for us. He is the ultimate sacrifice for our sins, for our unworthiness to be called God's Beloved Children. Because of this, if we return to God, accepting Jesus into our lives, we are again His Beloved Children. God made it possible for us to be His again. For us to be valued. Important. Wanted. Loved. You have the opportunity by the blood of the Son of God to be overwhelmed in His love. God's Undying, Eternal, Everlasting, Pure, Accepting Love.

That's where you belong. Why are you waiting?

"If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.  If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own.  As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world.  That is why the world hates you."
-John 15:18-19

"Whoever does not know love does not know God, because God is love.  This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.  This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."
-1 John 4:8-10

Do You Feel the Fall?

So, it's October, and Fall is pretty much in full swing. At this point, I can't remember the summer, and waking up with any kind of sweat seems like an outlandish idea. I woke up chilly this morning, ready to put on my fuzzy socks and cozy sweatpants. That's how it always is, isn't it? You don't find people walking around in bathing suits when the leaves are changing. That's life. When we can, we adapt to our desired level of comfort. It's human, and it's preferable to freezing in the fall.

What about the changing seasons in our life? Do we adapt to those like they're natural things? Or do we complain and complain about how things should be? Do we question God's sanity when He confuses us? Do we try to make things like they were because we're uncomfortable where we are?

The Bible talks about a season for everything. And it doesn't leave out the bad stuff. You shouldn't think God has turned His back on you when bad things happen, because He's right there, telling you this is a new season in life. A season to be embraced. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying we should just let chaos happen--I'm saying that there are things that you can't control. Things that God can control. New seasons that you don't have a say in.

Yup, it frustrates me too. I wanna control. I have tried to control. I mean, by myself, too. Without God as anything but a vending machine, ready for Him to ask how high when I command Him to jump. I'm not proud of it, but it's true, and it's natural. It's sinful, but it's natural. Instead of putting God first, we try to play God. I try to play God. And honestly, I usually don't notice. It's just part of life, a typical response to the event called life.

But just because it's typical doesn't make it right.

And ugh, that makes me guilty every time.

Why is it bad to want to change things? What if you're just keeping things in order? Well, yeah, that's fine. You should be responsible for how your life is affecting others and how you allow others to affect you. That's good and right and fair and that's not a problem. The problem is when you forget to trust God. We know it's serious when I underline a word.

When you don't trust God, you have to have something with control in the world, so you try to be that something or get another person or thing to do it. It really is playing God, because in the end, something needs to hold your world together. If it's not God, it's not good. We're resisting one of the biggest things we've been blessed with: comfort. Comfort from God.

When you know God, you don't even have to worry, because God has promised you life that no human can take. Eternal life in Heaven with Him if you believe in Jesus. That's pretty comfortable.

And you know what Jesus said about this comfort?

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me." -John 14:1

That's why you should not walk around in a bathing suit while the leaves are changing.

Are You Listening?

I wonder if groundhogs have good ears? Anyone know? Anyway, I listen to stuff all the time--music, my friends, my family, my teachers, me, myself, and I. Even when I'm being "quiet", there's almost always some noise going on somewhere. We live in a go-go world, and I don't mean the dancers from 50 years ago (haha, bad joke). I mean, come on, I'm listening to music, thinking about homework, and blogging all at the same time. I'm either a superhuman or I'm not doing any of the three as well as I should, because it may be a secret to most people today, but MULTITASKING IS IMPOSSIBLE. The brain can't do it, dude. It just can't. Just move on. Life.

Okay, what's the problem then? We're just an overambitious population. That's okay, right? Yeah, that's okay, but there's a bit of an issue here. I listen to others and myself all the time to get info and answers, but do I listen to God as much as everyone on earth? NOPE. Even if I read my Bible everyday and pray and go to church and whatever, do I ever really LISTEN? Or do I just go through the motions?

We all know I'm just going through the motions.

And that's really human. It's not good, but it's human. And you do it too. And then I feel drained because I'm spending time with God, but I'm not really paying attention to God. So, I have a challenge for you guys this week. I know, I know, challenges aren't my cup of tea either, but bear with me here.

LISTEN TO GOD THIS WEEK.

Hopefully, it will feel so awesome and amazing that you'll wanna keep it up longer. Think about it. This is the Living God talking to you. It's pretty crazy. Maybe He'll ask you to follow Him. Maybe He'll tell you that you're his child. Maybe He'll tell you He loves you. Maybe He just told me this.

That's really insane, don't you think? You should try it.

"My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand."-John 10:27-28 (TNIV)

P.S. Jesus is talking here, and you're the sheep if you follow Jesus. Yeah, that is really nice to know.

What Are You Working For?

Yesterday wasn't the best day of my life. It was actually quite painful. And it really shouldn't have been that painful. It was just a mistake, and that's life.

But it doesn't feel like that.

It feels like I've failed. It feels like I've failed even after trying hard enough--even after trying more than hard enough. It's like there was a competition to throw something the farthest, and I had it all set up just right. Everything was accounted for--the angle, gravity, air resistance, etc. There was only one problem. The ceiling was too low. I had forgotten something so obvious. And that stings.

Now imagine that throwing situation blown up to something that has to do with your identity. Something that should've worked just because you're you. And that stings so much more.

You could say I felt distraught. You could say I shouldn't of felt that way. You'd be right. In a way, I almost felt that I had sinned although I obviously hadn't. It shouldn't even have mattered much. I knew that in my head, but my heart felt like God would be sad that I was so stupid. That I didn't perform well enough, and that I would never succeed. I had no reason to feel like this, but I did.

And I kept battling with this until I read something very special. I read that my relationship with God "isn't a performance-based relationship" and that "the pressure's off. God loves to watch me play. That is all" (Six Words You Should Hear Today by Rachel Held Evans). I always know it in my heart, but I don't always feel it like we all should. I had based my self worth, the love and value I should feel from God, on the "love" and "value" that comes from success. I was working for the love and value Jesus had already worked for. I had basically told God that it was cool that He could give me value and love beyond comprehension, but that I was gonna earn it myself anyway.

And that's totally not gonna happen.

You're not exactly God, and you can't give yourself all that you need. Despite common belief, we're actually not all that independent, and we're not really worth that independence. But here's the thing: God makes us worth so much more. We'll all still fail in so many ways, but by the blood of Jesus, God doesn't have to see those failures anymore. From the failures that are little mistakes to the heartbreaking sins we all commit, God sees past them. If we accept His love and agree to be His children, He sees us as His children that He will love unconditionally. Forever. No backsies. He loves you. He loves to watch you play and live a life full of His love.

Doesn't that just make your day?

P.S. This doesn't mean that you should stop working for God, but that you should stop trying to work to receive the love and value He has already given you. You should still live for God, but instead of doing it to gain love, you should do it because you've already gained that love. Then, the pressures off. You are loved.

Do You Follow Your Heart?

You know that thing in your chest that beats hard at the most inconvenient, nerve-wracking moments? The thing that pumps blood through your body? The thing that enables us to feel emotions? I think we know what I'm talking about. Speaking of talking (haha, see what I did there?),  does your heart talk to you? I know the world says it does. You know what the world also says? Yeah, you do. It tells you to listen to your heart.  There are probably a hundred songs out there with "listen to your heart" as a title or at least a line in the song. It's really popular to listen to your heart.

What has your heart told you before?

My heart has told me some pretty intense stuff. Especially at 1 A.M. The later I stay up, the worse it gets. It tells me to do what's best. For me. It tells me to hurt. A lot. It tells me that everything right is wrong. It tells me that doubt is better than faith--even in things I can see. It tells me to embrace apathy, because the emotions it's feelings are anything but happy. Lastly, it tells me the world is against me, and I can only live for myself. Because I'm the only one I should see.

And that's very stressful.

Being obsessed with yourself is a whole lot of work. When everyone else is wrong, there's a lot of pressure for you to be right. And when your heart's in control, what's right changes everyday. Every single day. It's really confusing.

So, what do we do? I have a solution, but it's very difficult to take in, and you may not like it.

Stop listening to your heart.

There. I said it. Here you go. That's the honest truth. I guess it's pretty simple, but sometimes the simplest things are the hardest to take in.

Lately, my emotions have been on a little joy ride, and there are a lot of bumps on the road. There are times when I'm joyful and thankful; there are times when I hate myself and forget how a great God could ever love ME. There are times when I think I'm too cool for life; there are times when I think I don't deserve life. There are times when I really feel God; there are times when I feel like He shouldn't exist. Even when my logic and my experiences say He does. Sometimes the facts all line up, but my heart just isn't in it. I may believe in my heart that Jesus died for me, but sometimes I just don't feel it.

That's why you shouldn't follow your heart. Honestly, your heart doesn't even know where it's going.

So, this probably isn't lovely to hear, but I'd be dishonest if I weren't to tell you the truth. The truth is that your feelings don't change the truth. I'm not saying that your heart is always bad, dangerous, and misleading. I'm saying that when you heart is overwhelmed, you can't trust it totally. When your heart is pure, trust it; when your heart is defiled, don't trust it. Most of the time, it's probably defiled. Don't trust it.

There's still a problem with this. Don't most things have to do with the heart? I mean, you can't rely on your brain for everything. Especially love and other emotions. How do we deal with those? There's gotta be a middle ground.

Of course, the middle ground, the perfect balance, comes with God. How does God give you the strength to use your heart and these emotions in the right way--the way that doesn't mislead and hurt? Through the Holy Spirit and Jesus, of course. God gives us the Spirit so that we may believe in Christ and He may live in our hearts. That's when we know true love. The love that gives up its life to save ours. The love that is in Jesus' sacrifice. And all we have to do is believe and surrender. It's not always easy, but we've got God on our side. Isn't that wonderful?

"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."-Ephesians 3:16-19

Who Are These Jerks?

This is really scary for me, but kids everywhere have asked this angry question. But here's the thing. It's not about bullies or about criminals; it's not about meanies or about rude people. It's about their parents. Because for whatever reason, their parents have been unfair and unjust and have become major jerks. Like, seriously. These kids don't know why their parents do what they do. Maybe the parents aren't top notch or the kids have too much pride. I don't know what, but there's something wrong here. There's something dysfunctional happening, and it's not good. I feel so bad for these kids who have such terrible relationships with their parents. Either the parents or the kid or both are really blind in this situation--blind to the circumstance, to the heart, or to the reason. And it's really sad. We've come to a place where "I told you so" is taken way too far and starting to mean there's no understanding.

And maybe you can't help it. Maybe the other person in this relationship is irresponsive. What are you gonna do? This is crucial. Maybe you can survive with a difficult earthly parent, but what if that parent isn't exactly from earth? What if this means more than even an extremely crucial earthly relationship?

What if this is with your Heavenly Father?

What if you can't talk to God without feeling intense anger? What if when you think of God, you ask,"who is this jerk" and "why is He so unfair"? Why is the God of justice and mercy so unjust and unmerciful?

Well, that's no good.

Assume you are a Christian, and God is the giver of your eternal life. And you're forgetting what God has really done for you. He has let badness enter the world by our free will. We chose to be sinful, and we were born into sin. But why? So that when we choose to not sin, we choose God. We choose to love Him--and isn't love by choice the only true love? That's all God wants. That's why Jesus came to die for our sins--so that we could choose God, and God could wash away our sins with Jesus' blood. And true love could be real.

Before you keep calling God a jerk for the bad stuff in the world that He let us choose, remember that true love wouldn't exist without the ability to choose. And reconciliation couldn't work without Jesus. So, it may take us eating our pride at times, but we've still got to remember what Jesus has done for us  and what He calls us to do.

"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love."-John 15:9

Are You Afraid of Hurting Others?

So, you know that animal instinct? I mean, the thing that makes it natural for animals to prey on other animals. Or, maybe do things like steal another's food so they can survive? I know groundhogs do. I know because our groundhog likes to eat our veggies, and she doesn't ask me if it's okay first. It is completely insensitive. But most people don't think of it that way, do they? They just say she's an animal and that's what she does. However, what if it were a person who snuck into my yard and nibbled on my veggies? That would be trespassing and stealing. This person would be a criminal.

And that's what makes us different from all those animals.

Yes, I am writing about one of the differences between humans and animals.

Yes, I am writing this late at night.

Anyway, whenever I'm with other people, I think to myself, "Are they taking what I'm saying the wrong way? Am I HURTING my friend?" And I don't know about you, but I don't like the uncertainty. I don't like that their perception can be wrong and it can be my fault. I also don't like it when they don't like what I say and believe. I don't want to care how they feel about it, but the truth is, I do.

And it gets in the way of telling others about the truth--the truth that I know can save their lives. I'm afraid of telling others about Jesus even though God says to only fear Him (and not fear things that He can control). So, yeah, fear is my idol a lot of the times. It gets in the way of obeying God, and it becomes my god. That's not good. But I do it. And I shouldn't do it.

365. That's an estimate of how many times the Bible tells us not to fear. I mean, no, I didn't count it myself so don't take it that seriously. (Plus, what about leap years?) So, my point is that it's said a lot and it means a lot. Not fearing is important not just because it's good for your blood pressure, but  because fearing something means you're not trusting that God can control it. And that He will control it. Fearing God is the absence of fearing anything else. Isn't that amazing?

Now, this obviously doesn't mean Christians don't fear anything but God. But you should be trying. It should always be in the back of you mind when things feel out of hand. God is in control. He is your Sustainer. Even when things don't seem to make sense, He has a purpose. You may never know what His purpose is, but He has one. And you have to put your trust in Him.

Because His love never fails. 

"Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. They say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."-Psalm 91:1-2           

What Habits Do You Hate?

Okay, so we like to think we're perfect angels, but let's move on from that for a bit and talk about the little human things of which we're not too fond. At all. They inspire more of an un-fondness. They basically grate on our nerves like we grate cheese. As much as I like grated cheese, I don't like grated ME. So, let's talk about it. These can be habits you hate in yourself or in others.

I hate when I tell myself that I will finish my schoolwork early. Like, I was gonna be done with most of my homework by now. Friday night. Done. Freedom. But that's not the case. I've done literally nothing. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed that nothing, but I don't enjoy that I enjoyed it. Are you confused? I am too. But school just started two weeks ago and that "s" word confuses everything. C'est la vie.

Oh, and I don't like that once the schoolwork starts to wear me like clothes, the idea of being brain-dead is really attractive. I actually called it dead-brain earlier this week because I am that dead-brain. I mean brain-dead. Whatever. I have the inability to be serious when everything around me is supposed to be serious. Like, seriously. I'm serious. Everything is opposite of the way it should be. Because I like to think. (Well, mostly.)

You know those projects that technically have so much meaning and what not? Yeah, those annoy me. You know what? Sometimes I can think the meaning, but if I can't FEEL it. Well, my body's probably more likely to be feeling sleep. And dead-brain-ness, of course.

Tiredness. When my mind wants to be awake, my body doesn't share this feeling. Bad. Just bad. Lying awake with wide open eyes, thinking, crying out in need of sleep. Bad. Just bad. Don't listen to Nike. DON'T JUST DO IT.

And do you know what feels the worst about all these habits I hate? (Other than the fact that they're not all habits...) I hate that I'm not justified in any of it. And it's not because the things that annoy me shouldn't annoy me. But it's the fact that I let myself get annoyed. I'm victimizing myself. And like I said in my post "Do You Know What Pain Is?", the only thing we are victims of is grace. And love. We deserve death, yet I'm complaining about practically choosing to be brain-dead. Like, really? I should be extinguished, tortured, dead, and so much more, but I'm complaining about free-will. Whoa, Lavender Girl, who are you really?

Well, I'm human. That's who I am, really. And I mess up and take for granted so much every day and every second. Still, the Apostle Paul says we must be content in every situation. But it doesn't always happen, and that's okay. We can't do it alone, and that's okay. Because God doesn't want us to do it alone. Paul says he has learned how to be content in every situation, but not because he's this epic superhuman. It's because of Philippians 4:13:

"I can do all this through him who gives me strength."

And that him is Christ.

This is Paul's conclusion, and it should be ours too. It won't be easy, but look Who we have on our side?

I hope you enjoyed my little rant today. Comment the habits you hate and whatever else you want to say.

P.S. If you're wondering when I'll have more blogs up, it will be on weekends and holidays--the days when all the habits I hate disappear and are replaced by new ones.

Does Purple Sing to Your Soul?

Does violet make your heart dance? Does mauve bring you comfort? Does orchid brighten up your day? Does mulberry make you hungry? Does lavender make you want to read my blog? We all know that last one's true, but of course the others are dependent on opinion.

If you can't tell (for some weird reason), purple is my favorite color. So, I'm here to tell you why it should be your favorite color too.

Have you ever wanted to be a princess? Or a prince? Or just plain royalty? Oh, come on, William and Kate wouldn't be half as popular as they are now if we weren't so entranced with the idea of royalty. Between William receiving his birthright and Kate marrying into his birthright, it's pretty cool. Hollywood today just eats that up. It's a classy, wealthy soap opera waiting to happen. Why not?

But what does this have to do with the color purple?

Purple is the color of royalty.

And royalty means so much more than Will, Kate, and their new baby.

Royalty is an option offered to all of us, young and old, male and female, prince or princess-to-be. We all have this offer to inherit a birthright that we do not deserve. In her song "King of Anything", Sara Bareilles asks "who died and made you king of anything?". Well, I'm here to tell you that someone actually did die to make you a prince or princess. And that someone is Jesus. He shed His blood on the cross and rose again so that we may have eternal life with Him, a birthright that we do not at all deserve. We deserve death, but we are offered life. All you have to do is believe in Jesus and you will be born again into your birthright--true royalty.

That's why purple should be your favorite color.  And that's why purple is my favorite color.

Well, and it's also very pretty, but you know. :)

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

Okay, be honest. Are you? Or maybe when you were little? Maybe you were scared of the shadows that moved across your ceiling or the way your closet door stayed a little bit too open (and the light a little bit too dim). No matter who you are, especially if you're little, you are or were afraid of something related to the dark. It's human. It's normal. I won't go calling the psychiatrist for something like that.

But what do we do if we aren't little kids anymore, but we're still afraid of the dark? When I say the dark, I don't necessarily mean the actual darkness that we see, although that could be the case. I also mean the darkness of the world played out in the sin, the evil, the cruelty, the hate, the lies, the deaths, the enemies, the thieves, our own mindset and flaws and so much more. The list literally goes on forever.

So, what do we do about that? We look to Jesus. Okay, so some of you might be rolling your eyes, because it's such a Sunday school answer, but there's a reason for it. It's because Jesus is our Safety Blanket. Imagine you're five years old again. What kept you safe from the shadows? For me, it was my blankets. I'd pull the sheets up close to my chin, close my eyes, fall asleep, and wake up when the darkness was gone. I also needed my nightlight to be on all the time. Jesus is meant to be our Nightlight too. Obviously, the Nightlight will not illuminate the whole room and rid each corner of darkness, but it gives hope--hope for a future where there is no darkness. Hope for the morning to dawn. Isn't that what Jesus is? Jesus Himself said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life" (John 8:12, TNIV). Doesn't the LIGHT OF LIFE make for a great nightlight? Think about this light that you have on your side. If Jesus is in your life, you cannot be afraid. If He isn't, maybe you should think about inviting Him in. Come on, you can't pass up this Nightlight deal. Just believe and He's yours for free.

If you're afraid of the darkness in the world, take heart, because Jesus is the light of the world. If you're afraid that your nightlight will burn out in the middle of the night, take heart, because Jesus is your forever Nightlight. If you're afraid that evil will win the war, take heart, because the war is already won. And the winner is Jesus.

The light of the world.

The light of your world.

What Is a Groundhog?

Now, some of you out there might have very verbose answers containing words that I have never heard and probably never will again. The language is obscure, and the content is deep. You're a smart kid. You're a legit intellectual. But what does it do for other people? Yeah, sure, it's great for the older people who wanna learn about groundhogs, but what about the little children who just wanna know what a groundhog is. When we get bogged down with details, we forget the big picture. The facts that everyone agrees on. The simple stuff. The definitions like "a groundhog is an animal that eats all my veggies". We overlook the obvious, and we get taken away with the nitty gritty.

And we do the same thing with Jesus.

Yup, I went there. We start talking about the nitty gritty and forget what Jesus is really about. He's our Savior, the guy who came from Heaven to die, rise again, and defeat death FOR US. All we have to do is believe in Jesus, and we have ETERNAL LIFE. This is the God who wants a personal relationship with US, and gave His Son up to death for just that. And we have to do nothing but believe. Wow. Whoa. What. Is. This. It's craziness. That's what it is. And we forget that craziness, don't we? We spend so much time on the little details that we forget the big picture. Our salvation story.

By the blood of Jesus, we are saved.

Hallelujah.

Are you saved today?

Do Groundhogs Have Their Own Written Language? (My Nerdy Post)

Groundhogs don't. But I really wish they did. They really are missing out. Actually, a lot of people are missing out too. Some crazy people barely ever read or write any hardcore fiction (or at least something imaginative, relational, and mind-blowing). Again, they're crazy.

So, I have to tell you what you're missing out on. You're missing out on FUN.

Fictional parties for your soul.

Understanding what a fictional party for your soul is.

Nagging the misfortunate who don't understand what a fictional party for your soul is.

Total FUN right there. But let me explain each one a little more.

Some people think people who like to read don't like parties. But reading is a party. A SOUL PARTY. Every time I read a book, new to me or old to me, it's like a reunion. They're my buddies. I mean, the characters, not the books themselves... Yeah, I totally mean the characters... Hahaha.... :D

If you're insane and don't understand what a soul party is, READ A BOOK. It's magical. Legit magical. If you still don't get it.... #frustration.

Did I just use a hashtag? I repent.

Anyway, as I said before, I nag those who don't understand. I don't really need to explain that.

Then again, I didn't really need to explain any of this. And I don't even know where I'm going with this. But reading and writing is FUN.

Yeah, my nerdy post. Also known as my nerdy rant...

What would your nerdy post be about?

Are You Afraid of Snakes?

Groundhogs are. Especially the young ones. Snakes even go into their burrows. And we know what happens next. I never really understood how snakes can fit so much in their bellies, but they can. Kinda like my dad. According to the Chinese zodiac, my dad was born in the year of the snake. Figures. Just kidding. (Love you, Dad.)

Have you ever thought of the places that act as burrows in your life? Whether it's your prayer time and/or your deep friend time, you should have a place where you feel free to release your feelings and take refuge. You should feel safe. Like a groundhog in its burrow, this is the place you call home.

But what if you aren't as safe as you thought.

Now, hold up. I don't find that very comforting. I started to think about this when I was awkwardly googling groundhogs for inspiration (I never thought I'd write that on the Internet). Wikipedia told me that snakes sneak into the burrows and easily prey on little groundhogs. And their easiest catches are often the youngest. That's logical, but think about it. What snakes are getting into your burrows?

And I never thought I'd ask random strangers that question.

Anyway, snakes get into my burrows often. When I'm with my friends, the snakes come in the forms of jealousy, annoyance, vanity, insecurity and so forth. Although my friends and I grow closer and grow stronger, we still have issues like those because we're human. And that's what humans do. There are also snakes when I talk to God. As much as I'd like to say I'm the perfect Christian, it's not true. I'm still human, and even though I can do all the right things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13), I'm not usually relying on Christ to strengthen me. It's a hard truth, but it's the truth. When I'm praying or just trying to live a life centered on Christ, snakes like doubt, pride, and way too many more keep on getting in my burrow.

So, what do we do about this?

Yeah, that's a hard question. By ourselves, we can't do it. Yes, like young groundhogs, the younger you are (on your journey with Christ), the easier it is for the snakes to enter in. But still, no matter how mature you are in Christ, those snakes are gonna come in. No doubt there. But snakes came into Jesus' burrow too (when He was tempted), but He didn't get eaten by them. He defeated them. That's what we've got to do too. But again, we can't do it alone. So, I conclude with the verse mentioned above:

"I can do all this through him who gives me strength."-Philippians 4:13

And that's why we have to stop fearing those snakes.

Note: Your journey still won't be perfect once you first rely on Jesus, because you're gonna forget to rely on Him sometimes (most of the time). This just means we've got to cry out to God when the snakes start to get us, and then Christ will give us strength and protection from those snakes.

Do You Know What Pain is?

I don't know if groundhogs know what pain is, but humans sure do. It hurts. It's not fun. It's not necessarily physical, but it's a horrible sensation nonetheless. It really gets to me, and it makes me feel hopeless. So, why is there pain anyway?

When you were little, did your legs ever get these weird, tight cramps? Mine did. At first, I hated them with everything in me. I would have my mom and dad rub my legs until the pain would go away or I would fall asleep. It was the worst, and I dreaded the pain. But there came a point when I noticed what the pain meant for me.

I was growing in my pain.

I would ache and wake up taller. It became exciting. Growing pains. I loved it. I would legit pray for growing pains so that I could wake up feeling a little bit taller and a little bit more successful. Pain was good.

But what if I tell you that all pain is good? What if I tell you that it's all necessary growing pains?

I don't like that. Do you?

I especially don't like it when I'm in pain. I wanna be a victim. We all wanna be victims, because it means we're innocent, totally not responsible for our situations. But are we really victims?

We deserve death. We are not victims.

Or are we? As I once read in a book by Robin Jones Gunn, we are victims--victims of GRACE. We mess up and bring pain for us and everyone around us; everyone around us messes up and brings pain for us too. But God takes these mistakes and uses them for our good. We may not see it, and we may never see it. Sometimes it's hidden. But I promise that God is using your pain right now to shape you and the others around you. I promise that God is going to turn your pain into a multitude of blessings, big and little. Chain reaction blessings. That will change the world in ways no one will ever understand.  And the Kingdom of God will grow each and every day.

We sin, and God gives us grace. God turns our pains into growing pains.

And that's one reason why God lets bad things happen. But there's more. So much more. But if we knew all of God's reasons, then we'd be God, and that can't happen. So, we'll have to settle for being victims of grace and, of course, victims of love.

Do you know what pain is now?

Have You Ever Marveled at the Sky?

Groundhogs do. I think you should too. You really should marvel at the sky. All the time. I don't do it enough. When I do look at the sky, it makes me grateful. All the colors seem to guard me, but the space makes me feel limitless. I'm safe, but I'm free. It's kinda insane. So, if your life needs a bit of insanity, look up. Yes, that means we should all look up.

Have you ever felt like an empty container of ice cream? Like, life was once so sweet, but someone or something ate all your sweetness away? Well, I have. If you haven't, can I be you? I mean, you're humanly impossible.

One night, I was feeling restless, but not in a physical way. It was in a I'm-getting-emotional-I-need-to-feel-loved-in-an-amazing-way way. I felt special love, but I didn't feel super, super, special love. Make sense? So, I prayed. In short, I prayed for God to open up my ears to hear what He had to say, whatever that may be. And I went to bed. Exhausted. Hopeful. Humble. If there was one thing different in my prayer that night, it was humility--God-given humility. Suddenly, it wasn't God who had to hear me, but it was me who had to hear God. I don't feel that very often.

I woke up. There was no crashing thunder or parted seas, but I didn't notice that too much. My expectations were low and typical. I got ready. Nothing special. I went downstairs and walked into the living room. Now, that was special. Through the front window, I saw the most brilliant sunrise I have ever seen. And I've been to Hawaii. Hawaii had nothing on this.  The sky was lavender (oh, yeah) and orange. My heart. It flew. I felt like heaven met earth. I felt like God met me. Right where I was. In my living room. God answered my prayer.

We have such an awesome God, active in our lives and loving us always.

Then I realized I hadn't had my morning quiet time. So, I ran upstairs to my bedroom and grabbed my Bible. I flipped open to the book of Hebrews, but kept searching. I knew there'd be a hidden jewel in the book of Psalm. I didn't think it would be so intense, but God had something special for me in His Great Love Letter. I turned to this verse.

"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands."-Psalm 19:1

My heart. It flew again. All of Psalm 19. It was beautiful. Sometimes I forget that the Bible is not just a bunch of stories that can save the lives of everyone. It's a love letter, perfectly crafted and personally made for each and every one of us. Individually. Sometimes I forget that Jesus' dying to save us is really Jesus dying to love us.

And love never fails.

That's why you should marvel at the sky.

Why Am I Writing About Groundhogs?

Groundhogs live in burrows. This blog is meant to be my burrow. It's a little home for my thoughts and my feelings, and it's a home meant to be shared. So, welcome to my burrow!

But let's be honest.  That's not why I named this The Groundhog Blog. This summer, a groundhog has basically deprived me of my health.  Not to be overdramatic, but she ate my veggies, and I like my fresh garden veggies. She has finally disappeared just in time for the summer to finish and vegetable season to come to a close. You see, this groundhog hasn't been helping me out very much. And I don't exactly like this animal for that very reason (although I hope it's disappearance doesn't mean its death).

So, why name this blog after a groundhog? Well, my original reason was because my friend and I wrote a hilarious and awkward short drama in which I was a groundhog who ate a lily named after my friend (it was obviously for our intellectual growth).  So, that leaves me with this interesting nickname. And groundhog rhymes with blog. Gotta get that rhyming in.

Now I have a better reason for naming this The Groundhog Blog. We're all like the groundhog that ate my veggies. All of us. No exceptions. We take all that wonderful goodness for ourselves. And we don't share. We are selfish animals in a selfish world. But God still loves us.

Okay, so I know most of the few (very, very few) people who stumbled onto this blog have possibly clicked off and left me as just another piece of the internet. Not everyone likes to talk about God, but everyone thinks about Him, so keep on reading.

We all wanna be like God. We all wanna call the shots and be on the top of the world. That's even why Adam and Eve ate the fruit.  They wanted to know it all like the Big Guy in heaven. That didn't really work out for them, did it?

But God still loves us crazy children. Because He loves us and has made us to love Him back, God sent Jesus to die for all our sins. The perfect sacrifice. No flaws. No sin. Just awesome. We only need to believe in Jesus, and we are saved. That's the center of my faith. I know so many people have heard this verse or at least have seen it's address on a sport icon's face, but I'm gonna put it here, and I want you to really THINK about it.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." -John 3:16 (TNIV)

It's epic, right?

(P.S. I didn't mean for this to be a mini sermon, but it happened.... )